The unwritten rules and assumptions in a society often are more powerful than their constitutions. They guide behaviors and interactions with each other and are the de facto manual of what is success and what is a failure.
Here are some of the unwritten rules of how Albanians live life. Thoughts from the discussions during a worldview course.
1. Thirst for Freedom
2. Success is determined by promotions-power-positions-possessions
3. Connections are necessary
4. Bribery is necessary to get things done
5. Each person is always looking out for himself
6. The end justifies the means
7. Success is a zero-sum-game –I win, someone will lose & vice versa
8. All obey the law to avoid punishment
9. Public property belongs to no one
10. Shame peer pressure, others, opinions, and matter
11. Fatalism-hopeless
12. Mysticism
13. Motivation by comparison
14. Authority has greater weight than critical thinking
15. Culture of Suspicion
16. Leadership tends to be dictatorship-Followers are servile
If you assess your own culture what would be top 10 “values” and unwritten rules embraced by the society ?
“In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you.” – Mortimer J. Adler
This past year I read 43 books, more books than in 2021 but fewer pages. As usual, I left halfway or less other 10 books which did not capture enough of my attention to finish them. This year was unique to reading over 20% through audiobooks. A true convenience to take advantage during my business travelings.
I probably savor anything Tim Keller writes. This book which took me a while to read and digest spoke to me both intellectually and to my soul. Pain and suffering are a topic that is spending millions of dollars to prevent or explain through therapy, stoicism, fatalism, etc. Tim lays out the main worldviews about suffering and how they instruct us to deal with it. Pain and suffering after all might be more meaningful than we expect. We need not walk alone. We need a trustworthy companion that could help us get through.
I will let him speak through the below quotes and highly recommend the book.
No amount of money, power, and planning can prevent bereavement, dire illness, relationship betrayal, financial disaster, or a host of other troubles from entering your life. Human life is fatally fragile and subject to forces beyond our power to manage. Life is tragic. Location 240
When pain and suffering come upon us, we finally see not only that we are not in control of our lives but that we never were.
Christianity teaches that contra fatalism, suffering is overwhelming; contra Buddhism, suffering is real; contra karma, suffering is often unfair; but contra secularism, suffering is meaningful. There is a purpose to it, and if faced rightly, it can drive us like a nail deep into the love of God and into more stability and spiritual power than you can imagine. Location 640
The second most impactful book is not far from the first in affecting me. Mark Sayer tries to capture the epoch we are living in and how should we think and act. The most needed skill and attitude in a post-covid, fast pace, uncertain days is a calming presence. Not a fake one, a non-anxious presence that comes from one who understands the times and leans with hope into the future.
Quote;
We have not entered a new era; instead, we have entered an in-between phase, a gray zone. Gray zones exist in the overlap of two eras. They contain the influence of both the passing and forming era; this makes gray zones confusing and contradictory. The gray zone will be the context in which you will live and lead. We must understand it and learn to flourish within it.
–On society and modern issues
Why liberalism failed. Don’t be fooled by the title the author makes the point that both classical liberalism (Conversatorism) and Liberalism(progressive liberalism) spring and want to feed individualism. The theory of progressive liberalism of a global village stripped of national and local identity is challenging to live out.
“Among the greatest challenges facing humanity is the ability to survive progress” (page 29).
Love thy body – Nancy Pearcey argues in the condensed book takes on the hot topic of gender issues.
The postmodern narrative treats body and soul as two separate entities where the natural born body holds a changing value. She speaks from a Christian worldview taking into consideration philosophers, atheist perspectives and draws from several encounters she hasdwith her students regarding matters of sex and gender. She makes a well-researched point that body and soul are integrated as one.
“Instead of moving out of the state of nature populated by lone, autonomous individuals, we are moving into a state where adults are isolated individuals, connecting with others temporarily and only when it meets their needs. We are regressing to a pre-civilized condition” (Pearcey, Love Thy Body, 248).
-On Leadership
Smart Leadership: Four Simple Choices to Scale Your Impact Mark Miller.
A comprehensive book on theory and practice of leadership. Most impactful leadership book of 2022.This book revolves around four categories (smart Choices):
Confront Reality.
Grow Capacity.
Fuel Curiosity.
Create Change.
I like that the author starts with the category named Confronting Reality. One of my favorite leadership questions is what type of problem are we trying to solve?
Quote
Management and leadership are both required for an organization to succeed. However, the role of the manager and leader are different. A manager’s responsibility is generally focused on control while a leader is focused on growth. Managers are focused on today whereas leaders are primarily concerned with tomorrow.
Worth reading for anyone in a senior leadership role. I gave a copy to the leaders I work with.
I started to read this book out of a suggestion from one of the senior leaders I respect the most in my org. It is a worthwhile read for those who work in a senior leadership position. Ken Blanchard and several other authors take in 40 years of global experience that covers leadership principles and practices that are tested to work in several contexts globally.
Quotes;
For example, Mother Teresa —a minority Albanian who spoke broken English— did not begin her amazing career with a high position and authority. She used her personal power to achieve her goal of bringing dignity to the destitute. Status and recognition came later.
The most important skill for a team leader at the team’s beginning is to ensure that the team has a clear purpose, as well as clear goals, roles, strategies and expectations.
The days of top-down management are over. “As companies replace hierarchical management with a networked team structure, we are going to be using new tools purpose-built for teams,” Bersin notes. “Companies want management tools that help enable and empower teams, drive team-centric engagement and performance, and support agile, network-focused HR practices.”2
Fast-paced, agile work environments require teams to operate virtually around the world. These geographically dispersed teams face special challenges in building trust, developing effective communication, and managing attentiveness. However, with the proper leadership and technology, virtual teams are every bit as productive and rewarding as face-to-face teams.
-Worth reading in the same Category
Heroic Leadership by Chris Lowney (Good for perspective from a old company)
Lead develop care by Terry Cook (Great for leadership coaches and mentors)
I read The siege (Kështjella) in Albanian. Ismail Kadare is probably the most known Albanian author in the world being several years in a row Nobel Price candidate. I like how he uses rich Albanian language and also the depth of depiction of his characters and the subtext.
16 years chancellor of Germany. Angela was born in eastern Germany, she at once was considered the leader of the free world. A reserved, cautious, meticulous relentless negotiator. A lady who stood up to the world’s autocrats. Neither dad (a pastor) nor mom ever voted for her, so did so her first husband. Despite that, she admits that her faith helped her for inner strength and german people put her trust in her for 16 years in a row.
In 2020 was named the most trusted leader in the world. A good biography, although in Merkel’s fashion there were not revealed much personal details.
There are 26 essays on youth, the future of Albania, and Europe. The English version will be published by early spring 2023.
From the foreword
We live in the days of the great exodus. In the days of great confusion, unclear about who we are and where we want to go. The only clarity seems to be the desire to escape from reality, to avoid pain, to run away. It is enough just to be somewhere else. Among Albanians, the hope for the future of our country is fading. Our journey is driven more by the instinct to escape than by the destination we want to arrive..
Maybe this human desire is not exclusive to Albanians. It is a human desire….
What are your books of 2022 ? Share in comments your most meaningful reads.
Argentina won a historical World Cup on late 18 December 2022. A very anticipated World Cup since Maradona won it 36 years ago. I watch football matches differently now, not only as a fan but also as a coach, with a coaching perspective. I watch for tactics, game strategy, how the teams press, and with which foot a player makes a play. Precisely, now I watch games as a leadership coach.
Here are ten (10) observations on leadership and team function taken from Argentina’s run in the 2022 World Cup.
1. Early failure. A loss to an underdog team was not the way a World Cup contender usually starts the competition. Messi stood up before the media and said, “We are not yet out of the World Cup, and in the next match win, we are not yet the winners.” Failure is part of the journey. If it happens as early as possible it will provide room for key learning.
2. Sweat, tears, and suffering. Argentina has experienced all of this, often in the course of one match. Even when it seemed that they had the win in their pocket, the game turned sideways. Full-time and extra time were often not enough to give the outcome. They had to go through shootouts to claim the win.
3. Supported leadership. You could see that from the senior members to the young ones, the love and support shown by the team to their captain. What could be seen through words of flattery in the interviews, actually was deeds on the pitch. This time was different from the last World Cup, from the goalie to defenders, midfielders, and the young Alvarez by Messi’s side as a forward. They fought for Messi wholeheartedly. Genuinely.
4. Sacrificial steady leadership. Messi rose to the occasion of the support he had from his team. He pressed to the opposite team. Scored all but one of the penalties with confidence and calm. He dribbled and passed to his teammates. He played all the minutes available in the tournament. Messi was the first to shoot penalties with 100% accuracy, scoring shots. He managed his energy well and displayed his magic. He celebrated their goals and gave them hearts in difficult moments.
5. Team effort: Argentina had many average players, judging from their football abilities and the clubs with whom they play. But they gave it all, and they gave it until the last minute. Some played more than others, but from the media, you could not hear complaints from those who had fewer minutes. On the contrary, the spirit shone through that they were there for their team, their Capitan, and their people. Obviously, the atmosphere indicated they were a team in the training camp and in the dressing room before they showed it on the pitch.
6. Key player’s effort Messi was definitely the star, but several other players took responsibility. Di Maria is probably underrated and not in the best physical fitness. He was crucial with his dribbling, crosses, passes, and goals – at the right place and at the right time. Finally, a young talent like Alvarez could take Messi’s assists and score. Martinez showed up in crucial segments of the game to deny penalties and bring home wins. De Paul was the muscle and brain man in the midfield, pairing with the younger Enzo Fernandez. The veteran Otamendi kept the defense lines amid pressure. A young Molina ran back and forth in his line as he fought for each ball. They did not check out and kept the rhythm through a very tiring competition.
7. Passion You could feel it in every instance. How they sang the national hymn, how they fought for each duel on the pitch. How they celebrated each goal and victory with each other and their fans. Passion was one thing that the Argentinians had in abundance, and it was contagious.
8. One goal. The goal was to win the world cup after 36 years. The goal was to repeat the magic accomplished by Maradona in 1986. The goal was to help Messi win a World Cup in his last tournament. In a spirit of altruism and camaraderie, all the above were part of the goal: Argentina, Maradona, and Messi World Cup championship. All aimed at it, all the time.
9. Belief “I knew God will give it to me,” said Messi. I am not sure what was God’s hand in this win. But I am sure about God’s hand in giving life to each of us, as he did for Messi 35 years ago. Also, we are all sure of the unwavering belief of hard work, and sacrifice put toward the win. They believed it before it happened.
10. Coach skills Few in the global arena considered Skalioni a great coach. But this did not prevent him from leading this team to the Big win. He knew his players. He knew his best player. He kept them together in unison on and off the pitch. What is the sign of a great coach rather than getting the best from his players and making himself invisible, to let them shine and win? He said in an interview after the win, “I’m proud. I’m less excited than other days, but today I’m free. This team only makes me proud, it’s all theirs.”. That says it all.
Many voices for years were dubious about Messi’s capacity on the national team level, blaming him for not being a leader, for not giving himself to the national team, for not being the El Capitan who would lead his countryman to win the coveted trophy. Through years of disappointment, unfair criticism, and the last chance for his football career, he did it.
I am sure many new people will be added to Argentina’s fan base after this win. Many more children will want to be Messi one day on the pitch. I hope they will see beyond the play and embrace the values and attitude Argentinians and Messi taught us. More than the athletic skills, this team had a spirit of unity, a spirit of hope, hard work, altruism, laser focus on the goal, and supporting each other. A humble leader who leads by example, and a team who gave it all for all, fighting till the last blow.
The best player might win a match but it is the team that wins the championship.
What is your favorite leadership lesson from the list? Is any new one you would add?
A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.
F.KAFKA
The year 2021 was a productive year. I started to read over 50 books.Finishedreading 39 of them. According to my goodreads page my eyes and ears went through 9 603 pages. The majority of my reads were physical books with a raise number of ebooks this year and a few audiobooks. From some of them I remember verylittle, some made a great impression on me, some spurred me to do something differently.
The main themes of this year I focused were on :
Expressive individualism
Strengthening your inner self
I discovered two new authors for me in 2021, Gordon Macdonald and read more from Henri Nouwen . Both of them through engaging narratives explore the depths of the soul and how to keep it healthy .
My book of the year
I feel ….and whatever follows we consider the truth nowadays. To say otherwise we would be labeled as not being sensitive , not culturally appropriate , as harmful and even in some countries to object that saying, you might end up in court. Worth read.
My favorite bias is the “I’m not biased” bias, in which people believe they’re more objective than others. It turns out that smart people are more likely to fall into this trap. The brighter you are, the harder it can be to see your own limitations. Being good at thinking can make you worse at rethinking. Adam Grant
“The Christian life is a pilgrimage of hope. We live between the first and the final freedom; we are still on the way. Grateful for the second grace, we await the final.
And we are emboldened in our waiting on the way by the example of the martyrs. They give us hope that we might find the power to choose well”
“Whenever someone tries to deny the truth, ultimately, reality betrays him.” “People don’t know what they mean much of the time. Often they’re merely repeating slogans.” Gregory Koukl.
Because character development has many facets, there are a variety of integrity checks. This is a sampling of the many that I have identified: values (which determine convictions), temptation (which tests conviction), conflict against ministry vision (which tests faith), an alternative in guidance situations (which tests calling), persecution (which tests steadfastness), loyalty (which tests allegiance), and restitution (which tests honesty).
When God is trying to teach me a lesson, He will do so through many means. Important lessons are usually repeated.
God’s first priority in developing a leader is to refine his or her character.
Everyone who calls, texts, knocks on your door, and asks you for things is just doing what every human being does: trying to move his or her priorities onto someone else’s agenda. Nobody will ever ask you to accomplish your top priorities. They will only ask you to accomplish theirs. Frankly, you do the same thing. Most people spend their day reacting to everything that comes their way. The wrong things will always want your attention. Spend 80 percent of your time on the things that produce 80 percent of your results.
Lea is a fellow Albanian who teaches, political theory at the London school of Economics & Political Science. In this book she talks earnestly about her childhood and teen years under communism that follows with some unstable transition democracy years in the early 90′s .
Lea is a masterful storyteller very enjoyable read. But is not just that, she analyzes through those personal stories the key concept of freedom under the regime. Although I do not agree with Lea in her philosophy(offers socialism as a hope for true freedom)I sincerely congratulate her for giving voice to those of us who call childhood years the 80`.
Four lessons from the last five years on the leadership
Intents vs Impact
Probably this has been the most constant lesson during these last years. The conscious intent to do good, to undoubtedly help others, to adequately develop them does not necessarily reward you with the desired impact. I used to naturally think that if my motives were rational, then I am doing well.
Later I understood that wasn’t enough; I started to assess myself, how my help, my behavior, my words were affecting the ones I lead.
The challenge is that you can’t measure everything in leadership. It is hard to get helpful feedback on honor and shame cultures. Especially when feedback has the negative connotation of being caught or of doing something wrong. To carefully close the gap between intent and impact, building a culture of immediate feedback is needed. There are countless cases in a conversation with leaders when the reality described by their intent does not mirror the reality described by those led by them. Were they out of touch with reality? Probably so. I think they were judging the situation from the optics of intent. Good intentions are not enough. In order to properly judge the situation, you will have to look at it from the lens of impact.
Data vs Intuition
What is more important? What should weigh more in a decision?
Leaders naturally tend to weigh things in terms of importance. I tend to go with a gut feeling like my primary tendency but I have also come to appreciate the unique contribution of the data. Data provides a snapshot of the reality seen by tangible results. Things that we can measure. Data often tell a trend and it might miss the story behind the number. The intuition which looks for the story, context, and perspective, comes in handy. This is not a matter of either-or. You have a great chance to make a better decision when you employ both data and intuition. Wisdom consists of knowing the difference between the unique contribution each one of them bring to the decision-making process.
Loving critics
Criticism and leadership are almost symbiotic. Critique, at the right amount, is both gratifying and humbling.
A loving critic is one who demonstrates the most honorable intentions for you personally and the best intent for the greater good. At the same time maintaining a constructively critical eye on what you do and how you do it. He does not criticize for the sake of opposition but for the sake of accomplishing the mission.
This kind of critic challenges our thinking, our decision processes and holds us above the level of mediocrity. This kind of critic helps us refine and strengthen our convictions toward doing the mission better. This is very constructive and this is a rare kind of critic.
The other kind of critic, which is most common is selfish, painful, unjust, and even evil.
Author Lawrenz Witt in his book “Spiritual Influence” names five things why followers criticize: 1) They are looking for someone to trust; 2)They want to be superior.;3)They are seeking the truth; 4)They don’t have anything else to do.;5) Their expectations and needs haven’t been met.
Some of them are genuine quests for the leaders’ trustworthiness. Number one and three would qualify as a loving critic type of attitude.
Wise leaders are always aware that people’s reactions, in general, are usually based on their personal interests.
Leadership Anxiety
Leadership is among professions that bear a lot of stress and anxiety. In Christian ministry when we are called to serve others holistically it is easy to carry others’ burdens like yours more than you should.
So how do move forward in fulfilling the mission with people whose burdens are a mission in itself? When is the moment to lend a hand, to care, to stop and when is it time to move forward? And how can leaders manage this tension?
Pastor and leadership development author Steve Cuss in his highly rated book “Managing Leadership Anxiety” introduces us to the skill of differentiation.
He employs two effective expressions to generate the point.
The first differentiation most powerfully comes into play when you lead a group of people where they do not want to go, but must go. In the second, he brings a balance between care and moving forward: Differentiation is the courage to lead people to a difficult place while still being deeply connected.
He illustrates the point from an example from Jesus dealing with his disciples.
Jesus was able to be connected to them in their grief without their anxiety infecting him. Thus, they had a spiritual experience that they may not have had if Jesus had rushed in and said, “Guys, it’s me! Jesus, the one you’re talking about.” Sometimes God has a growing opportunity for someone that an anxious leader shortchanges by trying to carry it for them. Jesus’ capacity to walk alongside rather than carrying, to listen rather than fix the folks on the way to Emmaus is stunning to me. Steve Cuss
Which lesson speaks to your leadership journey the most? What are some of your own leadership learnings that you benefited from?
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives – Annie Dillard.
Waiting for a different future . Waiting in line, waiting for the bus, waiting for the morning coffee to come, waiting in the traffic, waiting for an important call, waiting to get an exam, waiting for its result.
In this social media age we do not want to wait , we want to get these things done here and now.
As Goins emphasizes, life happens right in between, right in between what we have just started and not finished yet.
Every waiting moment, provides an opportunity to slow down and listen to the voices we sometimes miss as we are on the go.
Often our social media can tell our lives better than our personal experiences. Instead of enjoying our morning “i macchiato”, we sipp it fast without taking time to let its flavor sink in. Instead of enjoying our city, we have hurried to catch our bus. Instead of quietly enjoying the peaceful view of the sunset, we hurry to capture it in a picture, put it on internet with the corresponding description.
The irony is that in our anxiety toward not missing out, we are missing the most meaningful moments of life.
Waiting to get a degree, waiting to find a life companion, waiting for the firstborn, waiting for that first promotion is not a time wasted. Jeff puts it wonderfully into words: All our waiting moments shouldn’t be considered a hindrance: waiting is the journey itself.
My friend, slow down, think about those moments that slipped through your fingers. Just stop and enjoy those in between moments, the moments of waiting. Yes, there is life even there.
“And as we embrace the wait , we learn to appreciate the delays and postponements that teach us some things in life are worth waiting for.”. Jeff Goins
reflection from reading Jeff Goins book “The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing”
“In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you.” – Mortimer J. Adler
I started to read over 40 books this past year. Finished reading 30 of them. As the quote above states, it is not in the number or even in going through all pages but how many of them really made an impact. Looking back I see that the unusual year 2020 had an impact on my reading also. No traveling, homebound, and in a major life transition as a family provided me with more space to contemplate and process my thoughts. I was drawn to books that deal with anxiety and inner self.
Book preferences are very subjective so I give my suggestions very loosely.
Below are the books (in a random list) that stirred my thinking the most. I give a short snapshot of my impression from reading them and a score out of 10.
Book of the year. 10/10. Dane Ortlund in 22 short chapters beautifully presents God`s heart for humankind. The very words used in the bible (Matthew 11:29) to describe God’s heart are; gentle and lowly. On one hand, we break his heart with our disobedience and the very rebellious nature of ours qualifies us to be a subject of his Gentle and Lowly heart. It is in His nature. Rarely have I read something that felt rebuked and encouraged at the same time. Inspired by Puritan’s writings and the bible Ortlund helped me see Jesus`s heart for me with a new set of eyes.
The message of this book is that we tend to project our natural expectations about who God is onto him instead of fighting to let the Bible surprise us into what God himself says.
His saving of us is not cool and calculating. It is a matter of yearning—not yearning for the Facebook you, the you that you project to everyone around you. Not the you that you wish you were. Yearning for the real you. The you underneath everything you present to others. Dane Ortlund
Most intriguing 8/10. It was a fresh air on my diet as the author makes a case for the important roles of generalists in a hyper-specialized culture. It resonated the most with me in chapter 5 when he stresses the importance of Analogical thinking in problem-solving.
Chapter 5 on Thinking Outside Experience,” explores the importance of analogies as a tool for problem-solving: “Analogical thinking takes the new and makes it familiar, or takes the familiar and puts it in a new light, and allows humans to reason through problems they have never seen in unfamiliar contexts.
Most inspiring. 10/10Eric Metaxas brings in a masterful collection of short accounts on the lives of 14 extraordinary people. Among them George Washington, William Wilberforce, and Mother Teresa which the author fails to mention her origin as Albanian. All lived life under many hardships but persevered giving themself sacrificially to a greater cause. Read this book and discover the secret of their greatness.
Hits the point: 9/10 Classic Lencioni. Short to the point delivered by a fable. He says probably this is his most important book. Why you are in leadership after all? What is your motive will impact everything you do and how you do it.
Shay was still angry but shrugged nonchalantly as if to say, it’s not that big of a deal. “So, what am I wrong about?” “You’re not going to want to hear this, but I have to tell you anyway.” Liam paused before finishing. “You might be working hard, but you’re not doing it for the company.” “What the hell does that mean?” Shay wanted to know. Knowing that his adversary might punch him for what he was about to say, Liam responded. “You’re doing it for yourself.” Pat Lencioni
Eye-opening-reassuring: 9/10 A great book on understanding the play in our minds and those around us. How we deal with our anxiety, the impact others have on us, and vice versa. Highly recommend for leaders in ministry and business.
Whether your tendency is toward isolationism (“No one understands”) or exceptionalism (“No one can do it like me”), the danger is the same: the need to feel like you are “the only one.” There is something deeply satisfying in believing the old song, “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows but Jesus.” It is some version of “God and me are the only ones who get it,” except it is very rarely true. While every leader does face a true moment of standing alone, most of the time we have more company than we care to admit. We don’t want to admit it because we find comfort in self-pity. Isolationism is a deadly form of anxiety mostly because it is very rarely true, but we self-isolate to prop up the myth. (pp. 53-54). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.
Inspiring 9/10 How having many ideas and at the same time fulfill the demand of getting things done, or getting something done. I often feel the tension and the book makes a point of not just having an out of box ide abut even implementing it against the odds
“Many people fail to achieve originality because they generate a few ideas and then obsess about refining them to perfection.” Adam M. Grant,
Most challenging: 10/10 Craig Groeschel urges his readers to start trusting God in midst of their fears, comfort saving, and adversity. His call to obey God`s Word taking from psalm 139 is to have an authentic relationship with God, allowing Him to search our ways, thoughts actions, to allow him to mold us (through breaking), and then to follow through on His call to use us. Many of us are not ready to do such kind of prayer; Because we love too much ourselves and want to avoid suffering, failing to trust Him.
When you start to pray like “search me, break me, send me,” you may experience valleys. Attacks. Trials. Pain. Hardship. Discouragement. Even heartbreak. But there will also be the joy of faith, the marvel of miracles, the relief of surrender, and the pleasure of pleasing God. It’s time to stop praying safe. It’s time to start talking, really talking—and really listening—to God. It’s time for dangerous prayers. ( Craig Groeschel)
Classic, A must-read for any church leader:10/10. I like this book because it is has a great balance of showing the truth (which is very sad to hear on many leadership failures) with the encouragement that we can be restored. He stresses the importance of a healthy community in church leadership when we are in for each other whether in our weaknesses or our strength.
Some of my favorite chapters are:
Limits: Every leader is limited in their energy, time, gifts, and talents. It is important to recognize this to lead well.
Balance: Leadership must mutually recognize that balance is needed to fulfill the various callings God gives to us.
Character: A healthy leadership community understands that character is more important than anything.Service: Leaders are called to serve God’s people, not domineer over them.
Candor: A leadership community focused on the gospel will be approachable and have the courage to love honestly.
Identity: Where leadership gets its identity from is where they will lead.
Longevity: There can be no longevity without a gospel community of leaders.
Check this short explanation series on Gospel coalition on the 12 principles
Vulnerable 9/10 The author is open about her flaws, brings in research, personal anecdotes, and Scripture. All in a great balance. I read this with my wife. Reviews from readers are over ten thousand.
What gets most of us in trouble isn’t even real fears. We worry about things that may never happen. In fact, research shows that “97 percent of what you worry over is not much more than a fearful mind punishing you with exaggerations and misperceptions.”
Classic: 10/10. You would not get wrong with anything with Cs Lewis. I hold him as my Intellectual.
In this short book eloquently (I heard the audiobook) Lewis explains 4 kinds of love drawings from the wealth of greek language in describing love: Storge: Affection Love Phileo: Friendship Love Eros: Romantic Love. Agape: Divine Love.
The chapter on Phileo the most intriguing for me he tackles some of the following themes
Friendship and Modernity; Secret Homosexuality?; Contrasting the friendship and the love affair; Companionship/Clubbableness; the matrix of friendship; making new friends; Phileo and Eros intertwined; Benefits for the society; Benefits for the individual; Growing in Friendship’s Appreciative Love; Can men and women ever be friends?;
There are 4 lectures around 30 min each read by Cs Lewis himself. The only book narrated by him.
Which one you would like to add to your 2021 list?
Share with us the most impactful book from your 2020 read.
Experience teaches nothing, but evaluated experience teaches everything ~ John C. Maxwell
This is my reflection on the last ten years, although to be true to my experience some lessons trace back from the high school days.
1. You are never ready
My grandfather used to say, “Nobody in the family can understand what the head of the house bears for the family unless they are in his shoes.” The same applies to leadership. No matter how much close you are to a leader or how much you share the burden with him, you are never ready. Times change, the challenges are new. You change too. This is a good thing because you realize you don’t deserve it, so you start with humility. You will need it.
2. Admit your shortcomings.
Self-awareness and personal development is a steady practice for me. Lately, however, I have found myself in the self-examination mode more and more often. Admitting your weaknesses is liberating and, at the same time, it makes you less vulnerable to criticism. It is a growing experience. Also, it helps you connect with people. People admire your gifts, but they connect with you in your weakness. I hope you will not remain in the diagnosed phase but will do something about it.
3. Act out of obedience, not feelings.
Leadership is stressful at times. Depending on the area of your leadership, stress may be a reality most of the time. The tension between dealing with your emotions and making the right decision will be a constant struggle. The value system of the leader is very important. I am learning to co-exist with hurt feelings in order to pay the benefit of the greater good.
4. Leaders are rare; most people are counselors and managers.
There are many theories that try to deal with the difference between a leader and a manager. My radical approach is: “A leader is a person worth dying for.” I would always put integrity before competency.
5. You don`t decide on people’s lives; they decide for themselves.
This sounds counterintuitive, as leaders lead people. What I mean is that no matter how great the leader’s influence on people’s lives, followers decide for themselves. They do have a choice. You don’t have the final word in their lives. This is comforting but at the same time it can be taken as abusive. There’s a fine line between caring, manipulating, or even controlling people entrusted to you. The alignment the leader brings toward the vision and mission might be resisted or misread, because the perception is that you are in the business of “running” people’s dreams. What you’re actually doing is helping them find their passion and dream.
6. You don`t know what you don`t know
This is not a code word. Often times you might sincerely be blinded and missing something that could either hinder or help your leadership. For example, when I ask other leaders what they think their blind spot is, some say: ”This is a trick question because if it is a blind spot you don’t see it and, as a result, you don`t know on your own what you cannot see.” This should not discourage you. What you should do, is to make the decision to allow trusted friends to help you in that area.
7. The hardest person to lead is you
I didn’t believe this at first. However, the greater influence you have, the more you need to deal with your ego. Rene Brown said it better – you need to check your ego at the door. Another question I have started to ask myself lately is, “Would I follow me?”
8. Your family and inner circle pay a price
They are the first to experience the real you, the one behind the scenes. They have to bear your bursts of anger and stress and your weak sides. At the same time, they have to be the first to support and cheer for you. They will have your presence, but not always the best of you.
9. When you change roles, you start over
In his book “Five levels of leadership”, John Maxwell makes the point that each time you change roles you start with the position of leadership. You just have a title, you need to work with relationships, leading people to results, and developing them. Leading a small group of people where I have multiple connections with the people I serve, I took some steps for granted. I did learn the lesson, though with some pain. It’s the same as in soccer – if you change your position in the field, the way you passed the ball or the person you passed it to needs to be adjusted. The goal is the same, though the way you play changes. You need to reposition yourself in the new environment.
10. You need God more than ever
My context of leadership is that of a faith-based organization. I could have named the tenth lesson “God is your best friend”. My example in life is Jesus of Nazareth, and this gives more hope and perspective for the long run, more than any other earthy relationship.
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